Kiv relationship. Relationship between a man and a woman "Relationship

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Friendship and good relationship- this is what many dream about. Warm connections with other people bring moments of happiness and can help in difficult times. But how often is it that we, unfortunately, cannot find mutual language with people, even communicate normally! And there are such people, after a conversation with whom, we are literally shaking with anger, hatred, indignation. What is the psychology of relationships between people? How to build good relationships in a group, in a team, with your husband's / wife's friends, and even with your own acquaintances and friends? How to learn to make new friends easily and not lose old ones? Look for answers to these and other questions in the text below.

How strange, at first glance, relations between people are formed: one person is very impressed with us and becomes a friend for life, the other does not like it at all, we do not understand and condemn his actions, and the third seems abnormal at all, with whom to communicate in principle impossible, and there might even be enmity between us.

Why it happens? What is the psychology of human relations based on? It seems that this question involves thousands of answers, because all people are different, which means how many people - so many opportunities for building relationships between them. But it is not so. If you master system-vector thinking, it turns out that building personal relationships with other people is always predictable and fits into a permanent, unchangeable system. Knowing this system, one can easily, literally at first glance, understand what to expect from a person, with whom there will be positive communication, and what to do if an absolutely unpleasant person has met.

The psychology of good relationships

Each person is a bundle of desires. We all constantly want something that will bring us joy, pleasure, happiness, big or small. The simplest animals have simple desires - you want to eat, drink, continue the race, and that's all. A person is more complicated, we have many desires, not one or two. And only the whole complex of a person's desires determines him, that is, gives him some external manifestations: he chooses a job to his liking, is fond of certain activities, and even listens to a radio wave and watches a program on TV only in accordance with his desires. Despite the fact that it seems that people have thousands and even millions of desires, this is not so. There are not so many of them and all of them have already been studied.

In order to understand well the psychology of human relationships, it is enough to study only 8 vectors - all desires add up to them into an exact system.

Friendship and generally good relations develop only between those people who are fully or partially bound by the same desires. We are also drawn to those people whose desires are complementary to ours or more than our own. But those people who have contradictory desires are unpleasant to us and we often just do not get along with them. And if you have to meet, for example, work in the same team, study in the same group, ride the same bus, live in the same apartment, then this leads to tension, hostility. And, as a result, to constant conflicts, resentment, irritation, which means stress, psychological stress and psychosomatic diseases.

For example, there are people for whom it is very important to have a quiet environment and they prefer a silent society - these are people with a sound vector. And there are people who are opposed to them with an oral vector, who constantly speak, often very loudly, on topics that attract the attention of others. Such people are unlikely to be friends and are often in the same company.

The psychology of good relationships is to understand yourself, your desires. And also to understand others not through yourself, through your values, but directly - as they are. This means correctly assessing the situation and determining at a glance what kind of relationship with this particular person can be.

Psychology of emotional relationships

The team, relationships with people are very important aspect the life of any person. And literally from the cradle, when the child goes to Kindergarten, and until old age, when old women communicate on a bench near the house, not having the strength and ability to go further. It is among people that we ourselves are worth something, our life is filled with joy and happiness. Therefore, loneliness is in no way an alternative to a real relationship.

If you can't build a good relationship, don't despair. If friends sometimes disappoint us, we quarrel with acquaintances, do not understand colleagues, etc., this is just a hint - it is necessary to understand the psychology of relationships between people.

Psychology of relations between children and adolescents

Quarrels and quarrels often arise between adults and children or adolescents due to a simple misunderstanding of each other. And no matter how difficult it is to accept, but very often it is the adults, and not the younger generation, that are to blame for such a sad state of affairs. We judge them by ourselves and make a mistake, because in childhood and transitional age the psychology of relationships with peers develops in a different way.

If you are interested in the topic of the psychology of relationships between children, read these articles:

If you are interested in the topic of adolescent relationship psychology, read these articles:

Psychology of friendship and love relationships

To build a good relationship, so that friendship brings pleasure, in order to understand the psychology of human relationships, you first need to understand yourself. Yes, yes, it is in oneself, and not in others. This is especially important if negative characters are constantly encountered on the way: brawlers, gossips, nervous people or sadists ... They all indicate that something is wrong.

The equal always attracts the equal. Developed, realized people, as a rule, are surrounded by the same characters. But if we ourselves have some anchors, problems, then we attract the same people. So, skin-visual people in fear prefer to stick together, for example, go to the movies for horror or walk in the night forest when they are scared. Such friendship does not bring real pleasure, and we hold on to our comrades, rather out of nervous tension. Moreover, such communication is more and more drawn into fears, phobias, often even victimized behavior, from which it is very difficult to escape. So, if a person with grievances finds another person with the same grievances, then they can sit at home and take offense until the end of their days, and the grievances will only worsen.

True friendship, good relationships with people is the greatest pleasure, and it does not arise because of problems, but quite the opposite. Some people have such a good relationship by themselves. But if they are not there, you should not be upset - this can be learned.

To build relationships with people, you need to start by understanding yourself.

It is very important to change yourself, understand yourself, develop, then life will seem to be attracted good people... It would also be good at first glance to determine who suits us in terms of worldview, life attitudes.

If you want to learn more about the psychology of relationships between people, read the articles in the library. In addition, you can listen to several free, exciting lectures on psychology that take place online (the full course of lectures is paid). To register, click on this banner:

Be careful - the psychology of virtual relationships

The Internet is a terrific, new space where you can not only find information, but also build relationships. Today, there are already a lot of couples who have met and spent many hours together virtually. We immediately find friends, communicate on forums and in social networks, we exchange news and jokes. It is on the Internet that we build qualitatively new relationships, forgetting about some of the features of the psychology of virtual relationships.

There is something in a relationship that we do not attach importance to, but which plays a very important role. These are smells. It is by smells that we intuitively orient ourselves in people. We say that we liked the person "at first sight", although in fact it happened exactly "at first sight." Looking closely, we often notice with our eyes that a person is not so beautiful, but at the same time, we like him. And it also happens that a person is visually attractive, but we absolutely do not like it. This is due precisely to the subtle, subtle smells that we feel, but are not aware of.

Reasoning on the topic of whether it is possible for a woman to love two men at the same time or a harmonious life-being.

Before starting a discussion on this "delicate topic" I want to make a reservation that I will not argue from the point of view of the morality and morality of our glorious society. I will not argue from the point of view of the treatises written on this topic, and use them, but I will only share my experience and vision of this issue from the point of view of my own understanding. I'll make a reservation right away that my understanding stems from my personal work practice, leading body-oriented groups, open communication with by different people and just personal experience and understanding of what has been built since 2001 to the present time. Exactly so many questions about harmonious relationships in a pair of man and woman puzzled me.

When I say the word woman, I mean feminine energy, and I describe her working correctly, again, correct in my opinion. So, who will be outraged by these reasoning, not understanding, etc. please be indignant and reason in comments.

And so, in order to understand whether a woman can love several men at the same time, you need to understand that a woman, by nature, does not make decisions. Everything comes to her, everything happens to her. And therefore, she can simply wish for something, want and wait until it is sent down to her from above, and while waiting, she must not forget to make herself happy and do whatever she likes. So that her expectation would be a painful business for me, and at all, it does not look like an expectation. Because "wait" is a figurative concept, you just have to live your full, rich and happy life and give a request to the universe, and even, as it were, forget about it. This is what the expectation should be - without waiting (it turned out to be a pun, but I hope everyone understands).

And now, for example, a woman is ready to live, love, give birth and realize her feminine nature in a pair. She makes it clear to the universe through communication with her through thoughts, emotions, dreams, which are reflected in her behavior, sometimes conversations, smell, etc. Those. it turns out that a woman is completely ready for the development of high-quality relationships, and she knows how to love by default.

Be in love- means to understand, accept, saturate, look deeply and understand what this particular person (man) needs. Again, I will make a reservation, the ability to love cannot be addressed at all, to some individual person, it just fills the whole space around and everyone who gets into the field loving person involuntarily and willingly it will feel. To love does not mean at all to be kind-hearted, or generally kind, no love can take absolutely any form that another may need, but this is a separate topic, I wrote here, for a minimal general understanding of what I am talking about.

So, a harmonious woman, ready to meet her man, completely fills her field with this readiness and love, and men begin to react to this field, fall in love, make friends, communicate. And usually in nature it cannot be that there will be only one, there are just several or more of them at once. Then, remember, a woman does not choose, she loves and waits. Well, here's an oil painting, she loves several men at once. From the point of view of morality and ethics, she starts having problems if she does not know that it is simply not possible in another way.

How does such a relationship usually end in terms of harmony? Man - he makes decisions. And when a man is finally ready to start a family, to take responsibility, he shows that he offers something, cares correctly and leaves no one more chances, closes the circle of intimacy, love, tenderness and sexual harmony on himself. And the woman goes into a new state of acceptance of the one who made a choice in her favor and remains happy in the pair that is right for herself.

It is, of course, difficult for me to explain all the subtleties of this process. I understand that now there are many questions and objections. For example: how is it that a woman does not choose? A woman can certainly choose, but remember we are talking about female energy and she doesn't really choose. A circle of men, whom she really loves, forms around her. Others do not fall into this circle or she simply does not get close to them. And already a man from her beloved may be ready to create a family with her, and at that moment she will no longer be in search and attract someone else to herself, because she got what she needed.
This is what I described harmony.
But at any stage a failure can occur. And the failure occurs by means of the intervention of the mind, which, in turn, from childhood was stuffed with a certain set of "right - wrong", "can and not", and "decent and not decent." Every self-respecting person necessarily collides with his desires, with his true nature - to be desired, loved, etc., which bumps into a wall of the above listed debris in the brain. And now a harmonious relationship is, of course, difficult to achieve.

Now, if you think about it, how do we find out what we like and what we don't like, for example, in clothes, we just start to choose, try on, try to wear and we have experience in choosing the color, quality of fabric, style, material from which it is made, etc., and so on. And in the end, over time, having all this experience behind us, just looking at a thing, we can say for sure whether it suits us or does not suit us, ours or not ours, and so on. Everything is simple here, there are no prohibitions on gaining experience and acquiring your own taste.

Now let's look at some of the common myths about gaining experience in interacting with men. The first widespread myth: "He will appear from nowhere, like a prince on a white horse." And sometimes a girl for years, without leaving her home, continues to suffer from loneliness and continue to believe in this myth. Probably everyone knows the well-known anecdote about Rabinovich, who prayed to God to win the lottery. And God could not resist, looked out of the sky and asked Rabinovich to buy a lottery ticket, so that he, God, had at least one chance. Yes, indeed, men are attracted and appear, but do not forget about your part, you must not hide the fact that you want it, and in general, at least be in places where they can see you, and you can see them. A woman "simply has to" live an interesting, eventful life and glows like the sun, only with happiness.

And I also want to outline a not unimportant problem, that many are simply afraid to acquire experience in communicating with the opposite sex. This happens for several reasons:

Reason 1 - I don't really want to, because it hurts and is unpleasant (i.e. previous negative experience interferes);

Reason 2 - inner fears, proto what he thinks about me, I have no experience and I do not know what to say at all;

Reason 3 - it's not decent to communicate with men, with several at once and build some, even friendly, relationships. And many, many things still interfere with the proper functioning of feminine energies.
Thus, the necessary experience of communication and recognition of beings of the opposite sex, their needs, rapprochement with them for a harmonious existence, by means of self-built barriers, is postponed to a completely unobservable future. And there is no experience, there is no understanding on such important issues:
How to get acquainted?
What to communicate about?
What does the other want and what does he need?
How to build close, trusting relationships?
How to be truly happy together in the end?
And this is not all the questions that have not been studied, to which there is no answer if there is no experience of interaction with the opposite sex.

At one time, when in front of me, there was a whole mountain of fears and the same questions about communication with the opposite sex. I started by learning and mastering simple communication. Not for some purpose, but just like that. And over time, friends began to appear, and I gained ease in communicating with men. I didn't want them to like it or not like it, just being myself and setting myself the goal of learning to communicate, I always knew that I could find something in common in a conversation that I and the other person like. In general, you do not need to emphasize at the beginning that a person is of the opposite sex. This is just a person, just like you, with his own interests, tasks and soul. And in the beginning, you just need to understand whether you have common interests, topics and whether you will not be bored together, but it will be easy to build friendship on this solid foundation of common interests, but if you suddenly like each other, how men and women, then the rest will start to happen by itself.

Yes, of course, in order to reach ease in this matter, at one time I took a wonderful course in communication. I am making a small digression on this matter. We are taught at school anything, except the main and important - the art of communication, and this is generally a separate topic. Indeed, the reason for many is not the ability to communicate and not understanding that this can really be learned.

And also an important stage in my understanding and experience were trainings on Tantra, which consisted of OSHO meditations, paired meditations on recognizing and feeling the other without words, mindful meditations, which helped to better understand oneself and much, much more. At such trainings, I gained the first experience of my deep communication with the opposite sex. By deep I mean understanding the soul and feeling close to other beings, regardless of gender. Understanding and experience that they have their own needs, their own fears, and much more, which also does not allow them to freely express themselves and be what they are. It was in such groups that I was able to overcome my fears and prejudices and see reality as it is, or as it suited me best for building harmonious relationships. At trainings, you can gain experience in approaching two, three men at once, gain experience in understanding who is suitable and who is not suitable, in general, to understand a lot of what you need about yourself and your partner, to acquire personal experience, which will not fall with its weight on the shoulders.
And in conclusion, I want to thank you for reading my reasoning to the very end. And I certainly invite you to come to trainings on Tantric meditation. I just wish to study, practically, independently and at trainings, such a question as communication and mutual understanding. Live! Have fun! Go to different parties, on hikes, to dances, to yoga - communicate and generally live a full, eventful life, for your pleasure, and in your life everything will definitely happen as it should. Good luck and harmonious relationship. 😎

Many couples, trying to correct the not very rosy situation in their relationship, turn to psychologists for help. And they are often unaware that the reasons for the quarrels, most likely, lie in their own inappropriate behavior. On what basis is the psychology of good relations with a loved one built? We will try to find out the answer to this question.

The Psychology of Good Relationships: The Main Principle

They say that in love, one always kisses, and the other turns his cheek. Oddly enough, but the success of your relationship with the chosen one will depend on the observance of this principle. Psychologists have defined this rule more precisely: "give" and "take" - the ratio of these concepts should be uneven, and the roles in this game can change.

If you try to explain it in a simpler language, this is the case. A man, "giving" something to a woman, automatically makes her, as it were, dependent on him, obliged to return. A woman, "giving" something in return, automatically exaggerates the size of her gift, again upsetting the balance and driving the man into dependence. Relationships continue precisely until equilibrium arises.

The Psychology of Good Relationships: Communication Rules

So, what exactly needs to be done to make the relationship, if not ideal, then at least good?

• If your couple does not have real mutual feelings, it is unlikely that you will be together for a long time. Therefore, do not try to build relationships on a pure calculation or for any other reason. Fall in love and it will be much easier to build a strong couple.
• Both of you should be extremely honest and sincere with each other. Nobody forces you to turn your soul inside out: it is enough just not to cause mistrust.
• Partners need to understand that sometimes compromises have to be made. During quarrels, do not try to scandal and stubbornly defend your point of view. Much longer "duration" for couples who are able to calmly talk during a quarrel and come to a common decision that suits both.
• No need to adjust to the hobbies of your loved one. It's great if you have common interests. And it's good when these interests are different - absolutely the same people will always be bored together.
• Plan your time. Try to be together every minute of your free time and responsibilities. And there is no need to sit in the evenings in front of the TV - better go for a walk! Or buy tickets to the cinema, theater, organize romantic dinner- there are a lot of options.
• Create your own calendar memorable dates and mark each one together. You can even come up with your own "family" traditions. Try to arrange pleasant surprises and give gifts for your beloved as often as possible, even if they are just trifles. Believe me, even the most unromantic man will be pleased with such attention. And he will try to return this attention to you a hundredfold.
• Be sure: constant doubts tend to come true. If you are terrified of the end of the relationship, it will happen. Better tune in to a positive mood.

The three pillars on which good relationships are built are:

1. Love
2. Correct behavior during disagreements
3. Constant mutual commitment

In most European and not only European countries, the tradition of spouses sleeping in the same bed has developed a long time ago. Of course, this was often due to a lack of living space. But the main reason for a common bed is the possibility of communication between spouses. After all, communication is not only a conversation and not even only sex, these are hugs, caresses, gestures, touches, some signs and habits that only two understand.

Spouses who, for some reason, agree to sleep in different bedrooms, lose a lot. They deprive themselves of just that closeness that makes people feel like one whole. In addition, the common bed is often the only place, and the night is the only time when spouses can talk in private. After all, during the day they have work, children, a lot of problems that need to be urgently solved, and in the evening the spouses are dispersed in different bedrooms, gradually tearing the threads that once led them to marriage.

After a divorce, people who have slept together for years feel their loneliness sharply for a long time precisely at night. The psychology of bodily contact has been studied rather poorly. But it is known that after intimacy, it is psychologically important for people to continue contacts, both during falling asleep and during sleep. Embrace have a calming effect on the human psyche, help to fully relax and create good mood the next day.

The pleasure of sleeping together, or rather the lack of it, is one of the reasons why you should not date a married man. - this is a disaster. After all, after meeting him, the woman is again left alone and goes to bed alone, knowing that he is now sleeping with his wife. While free man, even if he is not yet ready for life together, it is easy to stay overnight. By the way, he is ready to spend the holidays with his girlfriend and he does not need to lie to his wife on the phone that he is now at a meeting, etc. But this is so, by the way.

Unwillingness to sleep together, this is an accurate indicator that the family will soon break up. Even if the spouses continue to sleep in the same bed, but at the same time try to lie away from each other, interfere with each other and experience irritation, it means that love is dead and parting is not far off. Perhaps they will not get divorced, but will simply start sleeping in different bedrooms under the pretext that their partner snores or cannot get enough sleep together before work. In any case, what remains of this couple will no longer be called a family.

Therefore, you must always remember that your bed is a temple of love, which belongs only to you and you need to take care that it is beautiful, cozy and comfortable not only physically, but also psychologically. This means that it is impossible to talk about business and sort things out in bed in any case! Partners must be firmly convinced that only pleasant things await them in bed, then the marital bed will become the key to a long and strong relationship.