What is the topic sw relationship. Open relationship

08.02.2022

Many psychologists believe that the “ancestor” of the fashion for open relationships is the Hippie subculture. This movement arose in the early 1960s, its adherents preach freedom in all its manifestations. In clothes, behavior, travel, and, of course, in love.

In fact, the Hippie subculture revolutionized intimate relationships between partners. Philosophy has not fully survived to this day, but the concept of “open relationships” has firmly taken root in the consciousness of young (and not so young) people. Each of us has at least once thought about this form of coexistence with a partner.

My behavior is the result of your attitude.
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What is the main disadvantage of an open relationship?

To answer this question, you first need to ask another:

Can an open relationship create a family?

No, he can not. The loyalty of partners to each other is the basis of well-being in the family.

Video: Open relationships - all PROS and CONS

Family psychologists extremely rarely resort to advice to try freedom. Experts know how it ends in the end.

But for young people, as an experiment, why not try it? What if in such an exotic way you can meet your soulmate, whom you don’t want to share with anyone.

Most modern families prefer traditional relationships.

But there are also couples who do not want to limit each other in their sexual lives.

In such an alliance, partners love each other, but they are completely calm about outside relationships. It is difficult for some to understand such family life, while others, on the contrary, are proud of it.

What characterizes an open relationship? And what are their pros and cons?

The essence of an open marriage

Open relationship in marriage is often called legalized infidelity. It is believed that this form of family is especially convenient for men.

After all, the psychology and polygamy of many representatives of the stronger sex forms in them the following requirements for a happy life:

Lack of family obligations.
Complete freedom of action.
Sexual attraction to many women, with love for only one.

An open relationship is an unusual form of relationship for our society. However, despite the condemnation of many “standard” families, these unions are distinguished by the absence of jealousy, lies and quarrels.

People who have chosen an open romantic relationship describe their life this way: “We live together, but everyone has the right to manage their own time. We have enough topics for interesting conversations, we can talk all night long.

And at the same time, no one thinks of reproaching each other, and does not lose his mind. An open relationship is a very comfortable model of living together. This coexistence is much calmer than a committed marriage.”

Psychology confirms that open relationships are acceptable for couples who are completely satisfied with the current state of affairs. With the ability to negotiate with each other and take care of mutual interests, any marriage will be strong and happy.

Advantages of the Liberal Union

Open marriages have their pros and cons. The main advantage of this family model is the correct organization of the union, which allows partners to be fueled by positive energy from the outside.

An open relationship presupposes the realization of one’s own interests, variety in communication, and the presence of one’s own friends and loved ones. Maintaining an open romantic relationship with a partner gives you a lot of opportunities.

1. Variety in intimate life

A traditional marriage does not allow having affairs on the side. And if you still allow yourself to be carried away by another person, then later you will be tormented by pangs of conscience. In addition, your life will be filled with fear that the betrayal will be discovered and destroy the family.

2. Feeling of freedom

The phrase “if you love it, let it go” is finally coming to life. Free family relationships completely free the union from proprietary claims, jealousy, demands to change, rights to prohibitions, etc.

These are precisely the moments that cause scandals in traditional families. Jealousy does not protect against infidelity; attempts to re-educate a loved one only lead to bitter disappointments and quarrels. An open relationship relieves spouses of many negative emotions.

3. Getting rid of addiction

Open relationships get rid of the oppressive dependence that sometimes arises in traditional couples. Human psychology is designed in such a way that constant uncertainty about a partner and fear of separation destroys his nervous system.

And when you are relaxed and know that your partner is not going to change you for someone else, this guarantees peace of mind and mental health.

Disadvantages and pitfalls

Not all people are ready to be free family relations. Often those who want an ordinary family but accept an open relationship because it suits their partner agree to this model of behavior.

Such couples see nothing but disadvantages in their relationship. They will suffer greatly when their partner moves to the left. And at the same time they will be forced to endure it.

They will worry and take it out on their spouse, which will certainly negatively affect the condition of both partners and their union as a whole. To create and maintain an open relationship, a person must be mentally prepared for this step.

It is also worth considering society’s rejection of this family model. What you consider to be the norm may cause misunderstanding and disgust in others.

Don't be surprised that if you create a couple who embraces free sexual mores, you will become an outcast in some circles. Are you ready to risk your reputation as a decent person?

Despite the shortcomings, more and more couples are leaning toward open relationships. If you are mentally prepared for such a life, and you don’t care what people say, you have a chance to create a happy couple.

In the end, it is only your life, and only you have the right to make your own adjustments to it.
Author: Vera Drobnaya

Open relationship is an individual decision of two people to build relationships with each other without obligations. Such relationships in a couple do not have jealousy, lies, or any demands. The essence of an open relationship is determined by each couple individually and taking into account their particular context of interaction, but they imply a certain degree of freedom of expression of flirting and light intimate relationships with others. Most often, fairly active young couples choose open relationships. The issue of fidelity in this case remains inviolable, since people are emotionally attached to each other and in the spiritual sense there is no betrayal.

People who choose open relationships tend to believe that the partner’s interaction with others will not lead to a breakup, and prefer to provide complete freedom of communication with everyone with whom the person is interested, instead of limiting and controlling his actions and meetings. It is important to realize that this type of relationship is not legalized betrayal or a demonstration of indifference to a partner. Rather, it is trust, respect for a person’s personality and choice. Power, possessiveness, control are replaced by trust, freedom, and respect. And if we remember the principle of desire for the forbidden, then the fact of treacherous betrayal in free relationships is minimal.

This type of connection is more acceptable for couples who do not have and are not yet planning children, from the point of view that children absorb surrounding behavior patterns. So, with one-sided betrayal among people who have chosen an open relationship, the second forgives out of understanding physiological characteristics, knowledge that it is better to maintain this stable relationship than to leave and try to build new ones, but, nevertheless, experiences unpleasant ones. A child can learn such behavior as generally accepted and not traumatic to another.

People who choose open relationships have a different psychology from those who adhere to standard responsibilities. We can say that they choose to enjoy the present moment, love intense emotions, do not suffer from decline in level and respect the choices and decisions of others.

What does open relationship mean?

The definition and rules of an open relationship look like the couple maintaining an intimate relationship and living together, each has the right to flirt or have sex with the other without subsequent quarrels, scandals and termination of the relationship with the priority.

This type of relationship can be afforded by those who are confident in their ability to forgive betrayal if they want to maintain a connection, thus increasing the degree of openness to their partner and saving nerves when clarifying unpleasant situations and reconciliation. The danger is that individual understanding and rules of open relationships are quite blurred. It is worth determining in advance a strategy of behavior in the event that a temporary affair, which is permitted and does not carry with it reproaches, develops into love and leads to the collapse of the existing relationship, because the chance of feelings arising when allowing yourself close intimate contact with another person increases significantly.

It is important to discuss issues of organizing meetings, monitoring protection from diseases and pregnancies, and maintaining the emotional comfort of the partner. It is necessary to discuss how often meetings are possible, whether only intimacy is considered acceptable or calls and walks are possible, the permanent or one-time nature of additional relationships and the partner’s attitude towards bringing home. Before you take a step into an open relationship, you should discuss all the points in as much detail as possible, otherwise quarrels cannot be avoided.

The rules of an open relationship predetermine respect for the partner, his priority, the same conditions and degree of freedom for both participants, as well as emotional comfort.

If they don’t want to discuss such possible situations with you, but brush them off with “everyone lives as they want and no complaints,” then you are simply being used or kept in reserve, since open relationships include certain agreements (even more defined and strict ones, than normal relationships).

The internal reasons that prompt you to offer the format of an open relationship are deeper than what is presented in words to your partner. For example, this may hide responsibility if confidence in feelings and the ability to give a guarantee have not yet appeared (although a guarantee of eternal cohabitation no one can give either before marriage or even after). The reason may be a recent breakup, after which there is a need to heal mental wounds, to bask in someone else’s goodwill, but there is neither the strength nor the desire to emotionally participate in a new relationship. One can appreciate the honesty of the chosen one in confessing, but it is far from unpleasant to feel like a bandage that will simply be thrown away when the wound stops bleeding.

The most common option for choosing an open relationship is a reluctance to change your usual life, to move on to the next stage of psychological maturation, when you create your own separate family. This may be caused by experienced childhood traumas, failure to separate from parents, deformation in the formation of the personal structure and many other factors, but the essence of the manifestation in behavior remains the same - the person is not ready to change. The reason for offering you an open relationship may be your excessive intrusiveness and forcing events (there is a high probability of hearing such a proposal precisely after you have hinted at living together, getting married, or mentally choosing curtains to match the furniture in your shared apartment).

You can enter into an open relationship with secret intentions to change your partner’s opinion and take the relationship to another level, or because of your own internal problems (the same reluctance to change something in life, lack of trust in your partner, thoughts that you should look for a more suitable one, confidence, that they are unworthy better attitude to yourself, etc.). If being in such a relationship does not suit you, then you are not obliged to solve the psychological problems of your chosen one or force events, just convey to him what you expect and what you count on.

There are two ways to develop an open relationship. Short-lived - when partners try to preserve the relationship in an emerging state, this usually fails and someone who matures faster and overcomes the psychological barriers that led to the choice of this type of interaction causes a scandal or provokes a breakup. The second option is long-lasting, when the relationship moves into the stage of serious, filled with obligations. The mechanism at work here is that if we do not receive guarantees from our partner, reinforcement of interest, and we experience a state of constant stress due to the uncertainty that today everyone is still choosing us, then all this stimulates us to take the relationship to a serious stage.

Open relationship in marriage

The form of open relationships is quite rare, and is generally practiced exclusively by married couples. Many questions regarding the organization of these relationships should be resolved at the stage of their inception. Most of the issues and topics raised will concern boundaries of identity, permissibility and territory. For people who successfully build open relationships, psychology determines a clear structure and stability, which helps maintain established agreements, withstand boundaries and pressure from others.

What is an open relationship like? The rules in each family may be different: someone chooses to attend parties separately with flirting or just with another person, while others discuss the option of having permanent lovers and intimate relationships. In each case, the rules of conduct must be discussed in detail with the priority partner and consensus must be reached in reality.

An open marriage is a life together of two people who, at the same time, live their lives freely, without hiding its features from their spouse. On the one hand, this is reminiscent of friendship, when there is no jealousy and demands on your partner - you are happy to see each other as much as you can now, and try to have the best time possible. Such an organization of marriage can help save a disintegrating relationship, bring a fresh wind into it, make one feel acute emotions, and appreciate the spouse, but it can also completely ruin the relationship.

Such marriages are arranged between people who live not by feelings, or by one of the partners, while the other only agrees to endure such a course of events in the hope that this will change. And open marriages are absolutely impossible for jealous partners, those who strive for maximum intimacy with one person. Free unions for couples with children are difficult in their organization and moral aspects.

In any case, if the question arises about the existence or possibility of intimate relationships (spiritual or sexual in nature) with someone else, then everyone must independently decide which option suits him and his situation more: open relationships, secret infidelities, suppression of one’s desires or theirs. elaboration and development of existing relationships, without the participation of outsiders in them.

Open relationships pros and cons

The essence of an open relationship is not as cloudless and attractive as it seems, and includes both positive and negative aspects.

The undeniable advantages include a variety of sexual life, maintaining excitement, a sense of freedom in one’s own life (and not only in an intimate context), the absence of claims, quarrels, and jealousy. In such relationships there is no place for lies, but there is excellent friendly, trusting relationships and equality.

However, there is another side of the coin - not only you get freedom, which means that your loved one can sleep with others and you will know about it, without having the right to claim. The risk of losing such a relationship is much higher, because you and your partner are in a constant process of selection and comparison. It happens that people want such a relationship only theoretically, but having tried it, such an experience will forever remain in their memory and the issue of trusting their partner will not be closed. And then there is the omnipresent opinion of society, which for the most part condemns such relationships, sometimes without even going into detail about what it is. Often relationships that do not have obligations do not last long because one of the partners (usually the one who agreed to the idea of freedom) has higher demands and the other (usually the one who offered) is unable to give it.

Open relationships are not for everyone. It is necessary to have stable and high self-esteem so as not to slip into jealousy, as well as the inner strength to do without a partner and his attention when you may need it (after all, a certain amount of energy is also spent on another person).

Open relationships are considered fashion trend modern world. This is especially true for young couples who crave novelty, are trying to get rid of boredom and do not want to lose their freedom.

But are such relationships acceptable in family life? Can they make both partners happy?

An open relationship is a relationship where a man and a woman agree that they will not make claims against each other, be jealous, reproach, demand (“You are mine, but you can do whatever you want”).

On the one hand, you understand that this is great. You have a partner (husband), but you don’t have to change your lifestyle, report to him and refuse your friends get-togethers. It’s nice to know that they trust you, allow you to live as you want, and do not limit your freedom.

But the other side is not so rosy, because you need to allow similar freedom to your partner. This is where feelings of ownership and pride begin to appear. You can say: “Darling, have fun as you want! Flirt if you want!” But deep down you will be tormented by jealousy and fear.

Pros of an open relationship

Effortless. Each of the partners subconsciously understands that the relationship can be broken off at any time and this fact does not burden.

No dependency. Such relationships imply the exclusion of jealousy, resentment, claims and reproaches.

All these advantages are good for yourself. But you subconsciously want to keep your loved one on a short leash.

Disadvantages of such a relationship

Great possibility of losing a partner. An open relationship provides the opportunity for flirting. Where there is flirting, sex is possible. Where there is sex, new love is possible.

Fragility. Sooner or later, one of the partners will want more, but the other will not be able to give it.

Moral norms. It is difficult to overcome oneself and the genetically inherent feelings of ownership and jealousy. Open relationships are still condemned by society and require psychological preparedness.

Stress. No matter how the partners agree on freedom in relationships, sooner or later there will be understatements, mutual reproaches, dissatisfaction and, as a result, stressful conditions. Especially if your partner uses the given freedom “to the fullest”, but you do not.

Statistically, open relationships offer more modern women. They want to make a career, enjoy life, have a partner (husband), but not be limited by the walls of home and family. Men willingly support this idea. They are very pleased to feel free, having an official partner (wife) who does not make any demands on him. But when it comes to a woman, a man begins to think about the values of life, a woman’s destiny and cannot so easily provide freedom to his beloved. It turns out: he can, but she can’t (well, if only a little). In such situations, open relationships lose their meaning. One of the partners (usually a man) wants to cover up his desire to “go left” in this way, not allowing the woman to do the same.

At first, all open relationships are built on mutual respect, agreement and priority of partners, but gradually they begin to bring discomfort. Most psychologists believe that such relationships cannot exist for long, because every person has a natural instinct of ownership. Sooner or later this instinct will manifest itself and conflicts cannot be avoided.

But open relationships often strengthen the union. How? It's simple. The forbidden fruit is sweeter. If a wife (husband) does not allow her partner freedom in the relationship, then he wants to “sin” in order to experience extreme emotions and adrenaline. But once an open relationship is established, all entertainment loses its attractiveness - because it becomes accessible.

Conventional views in the union of a man and a woman are becoming a thing of the past. A different understanding of love gives rise to new types of connections between people. One of these phenomena was “open relationships”.

What is an “open relationship between a man and a woman”?

Relationships are called “free” when partners do not bind each other to socially accepted rules and stereotypes. As a rule, they are resorted to by people who are not married or do not want to get married, seeking to achieve comfortable and not serious connections.

A man and a woman may not live together. Everyone has their own own house where they permanently reside. But the personal lives of lovers are not “under the veil of secrecy.” Lovers also remain close to each other, communicate closely and take an active part in the life of their partner.

Why is this happening?

The most common opinion is the position: “ Living together draws people into routine and everyday life, and romance tenderly fades into the past.” These words belong not only to women, but also to men (they are the ones who more often experience disappointment in their chosen one). Mature people do not see any meaning or necessity in cohabitation - each of them already leads a self-sufficient lifestyle and is materially independent.

Partners can “cheat” on each other, because the concept of “cheating” is of little use here. This position is one of the key ones in an open relationship. Both the man and the woman do this consciously, so the reaction to the presence of outside sexual relations should be dispassionate. They can, in some cases, even share their “adventures” with each other.

Why is that?

Initially, when entering into this type of relationship, people assume that there are no restrictions on a person’s personal desires. The characteristic properties of both partners also play a role, for example.

Limited period. Girls/women need to take a closer look at this fact. “Open relationships” do not develop into “serious” ones.

How does this happen?

Such connections cannot develop over time. Partners will forever remain for each other in the role of a close lover, with whom it is pleasant to spend leisure time and communicate. Changing your “status” is very difficult. In 8 cases out of 10, a woman and a man break up after 1-3 years of such a relationship.

Free family relationships between husband and wife

The traditional type of family and the role of the marriage union are undergoing strong changes in their structure. Goals and hopes for marriage change.

The described type of union between two people will be more like a fictitious marriage than a family. In an open relationship, it is difficult to have and raise children; partners are not ready for such an act, because of this, couples remain childless. “Free marriage” brings pleasure to people, a frivolous vision of the world, but not strong family ties.