Programmers' Wives: Are We Lucky or Life Failed? The husband is a programmer, computer technician, IT specialist. Relationship

We argued for a long time about what profession a man can be called a real modern Belarusian prince. And they decided to be a programmer. We will talk about them today.

"Programmers are silent creatures in old sweaters in spools, why communicate with them at all," I said several years ago. And then she got married. For the programmer.

It turned out that programmers also love meeting friends, going to the movies and playing sports. Some of them are said to be into partying and meeting new people, but this is very rare. Most of these people are laconic and very selectively sociable. It is about such "true" guys that I am writing this article.

I am mute, even when I do not eat

In general, programmers know how to talk, although not often: mainly, of course, about codes and wires, sometimes they also wonder if there is anything for dinner. But in good mood and with a certain degree of trust in you, they may even support a conversation on some foreign topic, such as shopping. But these people cannot be called socially active. Personally, I saw an "active" programmer once in my life: he danced and sang into a microphone on New Year's corporate party one IT office. At this time, his quiet colleagues concentratedly chewed salad and watched Santa Claus cautiously- what if he now and will force them to participate in competitions. So if you like a programmer, don't expect active steps from him. To smile at you in the corridor is already a feat. Start the conversation first, preferably while fixing your laptop - this is the perfect moment.

Anastasia, 29

"For girls who got a male programmer, I would first advise to decide on his type. As practice shows, men in this profession are harsh and rather introverted. If you got an extroverted programmer, check if he is actually a designer?"

Get married, I will forgive everything!

Let all sorts of extroverts-romantics make proposals in luxurious restaurants in front of surprised visitors or order billboards with the inscription "Masha, marry me!" You got something more interesting. The fact is that already at the moment of the first kiss, your programmer decided something for himself on your account. Perhaps he simply forgot that you are not married - you have lived together for so long, you get along so well! He may sincerely not understand why you hang out in front of showcases with wedding dresses for so long and why you have written the size of your ring finger on the mirror. If you do not have the strength to endure, and the grandmother presses with a question about the grandchildren, then tell him, as it is: "Honey, let's get married." I assure you that he will be grateful to you for the rest of his days.

Daria, 26

“I somehow came from my relatives tormented by the questions“ when are you going to get married. ”My programmer asked what happened to me, well, and I told all this. get married. ”And he said this with an expression in the spirit of“ well, yes, you can take a beer in the store today. ”Well, we got married.”

Anastasia, 29

"Be prepared for the fact that he will make an offer to you in three years. Perhaps in five. One girl told me that when she got tired of waiting for the weather by the sea, and, as you know, programmers don't get hints, she just pasted a note to the refrigerator with the following content: "We need to go to the registry office, this is important". So, when he understands what you want from him, he will give you a ring and even say some touching words... Here you can shed a tear. "

Silence and admire

In everyday life, family life with a programmer is almost heaven. Everything in the house will always work, there will be wifi even in the toilet, the husband will be gentle with all devices without exception. They will call your phone "some kind of crap" and buy a new one, your laptop will have a thousand "necessary" programs (which you, of course, did not ask for). There is a big fly in this ointment - everyone around will use the services of your wonderful husband: the neighbor will ask you to rearrange the Windows, and the godmother's phone and toaster will surely break (and what's the difference that the programmer has little to do with the toaster - "tyzhprogrammer"!). Your husband will simplify life with all sorts of technical bells and whistles, which is great, but be prepared for the fact that after your request to "quickly wipe the floor in the bathroom," he will first make a special mop with a servo drive, and only then the floor will be clean. And, of course, all kinds of wires, adapters and, attention, computers will settle in your house - a real programmer should have at least three of them.

Snezhana, 27

“As practice shows, in everyday life, programmers are comfortable and unpretentious. And they are not afraid of typical male work. Although the formula“ I’m a programmer, that I’ve been in vain for a certain number of years taught physics and mathematics, now I’ll figure out how to do it ”has not been canceled ... Your business is to be silent and admire... He will do it anyway and everything will work. "

Anastasia, 29

"All sorts of intellectual things will settle in your apartment, and even a blender will correspond to his inner sense of beauty, which consists of at least 54 criteria."

It is important!

Be prepared for the fact that your chosen one will spend most of the time with his favorite thing - a computer. He will also drink beer with friends and sometimes go wherever you want. It is theoretically possible to drag this person away from work, just do it not during the process of writing the next code. It is categorically impossible to turn the programmer while working - they say they plunge into a special state- but they can get out of it unexpectedly at five in the morning with shouts in your sleeping ear: "Hurray, I finally succeeded!" True love to work is a rare success, but here there are also disadvantages: the programmer will often immerse himself in his thoughts, and it will seem to you that he at least does not love you. In general, drive these thoughts away and go about your business. A male programmer is a choice of self-sufficient women with a bunch of friends and hobbies. Remember this and repeat to yourself periodically in moments of sadness.

Anastasia, 29

"Concerning family life, then be prepared for the fact that you will have to come up with leisure options on your own, because your husband will often just want to be alone with his beloved creature - a computer and all those wonderful things that he is inhabited - toys, codes and other things incomprehensible to you , which amuse him and warm his soul. There is nothing wrong with that, because you fell in love with this man with stubble and in a stretched sweatshirt not for extravagant actions, but for his even character and reliability. "

Snezhana, 27

"The programmer will be your loyal friend and companion. But he is not one of those who will share everything with you and be always there. Therefore, programmers are not the best choice for those who like to live by other people's interests and give up everything for the sake of their beloved. It is rather an option for those who have have their own life and interests. "

TChK

Your dogs will be named Fido, Ubuntu and Byte. You will understand that the system unit and the processor are different things. You will learn how to weave pigtails from wires. Sometimes you will miss words of love, at some point you will even feel completely alone. But this is all nonsense, you have something to be proud of, you are the wife of a programmer - a logical thinking, reasonable, practical and, by the way, a well-earning person, who at one fine moment will simply install a program on your laptop that shows the same message "of course , I love you "so as not to be distracted from work in vain.

Anastasia, 29
"Of course, sometimes it will seem to you that you live with a rare bore. Although why it seems - in general, it is so. At some moments you will want to throw something heavy at him, because he does not understand your hints. He will never understand them. Just get used to articulating your desires as clearly as possible - this will make your life much easier. In general, being a programmer's wife is good and pleasant: sometimes you look at him in the back and think tenderly: from, somewhere near the whole world ..."

Snezhana, 27
"Programmers are modern" pryntsy ". Most of them quickly acquire wives and children. The programmer may not dare to risk one more time, but there is no need to fear for the family budget, and there will always be new boots."

Ekaterina, 28
"Programmers are very practical creatures. With such a man you will not disappear, especially if you are an impulsive lady. They are also all too often married, and they have at least two children. The husband says:" Well, what else can we do: we earn normally, we need children give birth. "And it also seems to me that they are mostly monogamous - too many worries with trips "to the left", you will only change it with a computer".

Notes of the Programmer's Wife

And the devil pulled me to marry him!

After all, she herself is not a fool! Not ugly! And the fans were not offended. Quite the opposite, they were curling around in jambs. This is probably why I immediately noticed him at that party. All the men around me are jumping, bringing champagne, shoving sweets, inviting me to dance. And Seryozha, as soon as he came, sat down on the sofa, put a dozen bottles of beer in front of him and began to drain them one by one, thinking some kind of thought of his own. He did not pay the slightest attention to me.

At first I thought he was a secret physicist. The same mysterious facial expression, disheveled hair and carelessness in clothes. Imagine, did not look in my direction at all! It upset me so much. At first, in opposition to him, I began to flirt with the fans with might and main, went to dance, once even knocked a bottle of beer into his lap with my skirt. So he did not look at me in this case either. He raised his eyes to the landlady and said: "Lena, I would like to carry out the process of dehydration of my pants." Lena tried for a long time to understand what she should do with his pants, but then she realized, took Serezha to the bathroom, from where he returned in the pants of her husband, a bodybuilder.

Most importantly, anyone would be embarrassed to be at a party in pants five sizes larger. And this is all about the drum. I took another beer, asked for a piece of paper with a pen and began to write something quickly on a piece of paper.

Then I myself could not stand it. I sat down with him and said:

- Excuse me, Sergei, that I accidentally knocked over a bottle of beer on you.

- What? - he answers. - I did not hear. I got distracted.

“It's not scary,” he says. - I myself often spill beer on my clothes. The main thing is not to fill the keyboard. Therefore, a mug or bottle is placed farther away, on the edge of the table, and then all sorts of surprises can be. I already get used to it.

- And what do you work, - I ask.

“A sysadmin and programmer,” he replies.

“I see,” I say, not understanding anything. - And what is a sysadmin?

- I sit in the office on the grid. The grid, however, is junk - coax. But they all cling to the twisted pair there. And here you can imagine - twenty-five computers! Here's how to work here on a serial connection? As a cleaning lady mops somewhere on a cable, so she has to climb the whole office like a coconut bee.

- Yeah! In business! - I agree. - Is it comfortable to sit on the net? Maybe just put a chair?

“You don’t drive in,” Sergei is angry. - I'm in charge of administration. Sharing access, then, yes. Security, there, all sorts.

- So you work as a security administrator! - I finally guessed.

- No, how can I talk to you? - Sergei was completely angry. - I immediately said that I work as a system administrator. This is the system administrator! Understood?

“I get it, I get it, don’t worry,” I answered hastily. - Each company has its own system of work. You work as an administrator in this system. Right?

- Well, something like that, - Sergey agreed with a wave of his hand.

To defuse the situation, I invited him to dance. At first, he did not agree for a long time, stating that the last time he danced before the invention of computers, but then, nevertheless, he broke down. During the dance, he spoke continuously, but I understood at most one word out of twenty. Several times the word "card" sounded, from which I concluded that the guy is not a fool to have fun. Once he used the word "port", from which it was possible to understand that his profession is somehow connected with the sea. The term "cable" indicated that it was related to electricity. In short, such a mysterious guy turned out to be something.

At the end of the dance, he became so infuriated that for a long time he painted on the table with the help of bottles, cans and cutlery some strange structure, which he called "The mail routing scheme in our grid." From which I understood that he also has something to do with post office... Apparently, in the morning I worked part-time by posting mail.

Honestly, I have long wanted to meet such a guy. How many professions, and it's all in one person. And he does not shy away from such hard work as posting mail in the morning. And as a person he was quite handsome, especially if he was washed and dressed more or less decently. But even in this form, I liked him. Purposeful, self-absorbed gaze, detachment from everyday life, high forehead, almost hidden behind matted hair. He was not at all like those polished assholes, my admirers.

At that moment, I realized that this is the one I have been looking for all my life. I myself can bring him into a divine form, because why else are women needed if not to control a man? And then I’ll try to make him a very famous scientist, academician, I’ll cook him borscht and go with him to rest homes for especially valuable workers. If a guy in his twenties behaves like a real academician, then what will happen in thirty or forty? Nobel Prize, no less.

All this flashed through my head while Sergei was constantly muttering something. He looked completely possessed. Hair is disheveled, eyes are burning, a couple of times he poked me in the side with his fist quite perceptibly, explaining the operation of some kind of "gate". God, he also has to do with aviation! Just some kind of walking encyclopedia, not a person.

In short, I fell in love. She asked to accompany me home. I tried to talk to him about literature. It turned out that he is quite well-read, because he often goes to the "Moshkov's library". I asked what kind of library it was, and whether it was much smaller than Lenin's. It turned out that Leninka did not even stand next to this library. I understood that she was somewhere on the other side of Moscow. Then she told him some fresh anecdotes, but he said that he had heard all of them from Professor Werner for a long time. O! Exactly! I was not mistaken that Sergey moves in the highest scientific circles.

On the way, we met a young man who looked very much like Sergei in dress. But it turned out that he was a foreigner, so he greeted us with the words: "Hai, pipel!" And then I realized that Sergei is fluent in English, because he easily spoke with this foreigner for five minutes. They were discussing some "Rulez", which was "full cool", and that "mastdaische is a full sax." Smart guys. I immediately vowed to learn English in the near future, so as not to look like a complete fool against their background.

Two girls are talking:
- What is he like?
- Very sociable and friendly ...
You can't even say that you are a programmer!

The thought will be chaotic, without any structure. From personal experience.

For a long time the idea of ​​writing such a creation ripened in my head, but only that time was not enough, then the work hung on the neck with an unbearable weight, then household chores and so on. Why does the title say “How to become a wife ...”? Because becoming JUST a wife is not easy, and connecting your life with a programmer is a very difficult, troublesome business, and not all girls will agree. To a large extent, because until now in the minds of some people, and girls in particular, programmers are strange people, even very strange people. Apparently, such a stereotype was created in the head of many unique people due to the fact that most of the guys-programmers are sort of eccentric freaks, computer maniacs, that if you marry such a guy, heaps of crumpled wires, all kinds of devices, communication in an incomprehensible language, etc. are provided at home. ... I thought so too. Until a certain point. Our meeting happened quite by accident, we did not even suspect that that day would become fateful for us (too pretentious word, but not to say otherwise). Apparently, it is really difficult to get to know a programmer on purpose. It is easier, for example, to pick up some mid-level manager or bank clerk at a party. So, back to us. Our communication developed very, very rapidly - there was an amazing candy-bouquet period, which, by the way, continues to this day. He gave me something that you will not find in our provincial town. Of course, there were some oddities. But most of these oddities were on my part. For example, he could forgive me such small pranks as being late for a date for ... an hour! Everything developed somehow quickly, perhaps partly due to the fact that I took the initiative in my own hands (this happens to this day, but before it was without quarrels, and now, when we are already a family, sometimes disagreements arise). And I think that if it were not for the ease in the relationship, that initiative on my part, he would not care and he would continue to sit at home and play his stupid games, and I would sit at home by the window and continue to wait for my prince, which is not. I made my prince. And we got married almost a year after we met.

Now about the main thing. How to be the wife of a programmer. I want to dispel the castles in the air for those girls who think that if they have already met such a specimen and even meet and everything will be OK for them - forget it and be prepared for huge changes in your life. If you really want to marry a (promising) programmer, and not only because “they-get-well-paid-and-because-the-programmers-sit-quietly-at-their-computer”, you will find a lot of interesting things, I would say - exciting. If you still managed to start a family, be prepared for the fact that your life will turn upside down. Your husband may be invited to a high-paying job. To another city. And this is where the fun begins - you need to quit your job, wave your pen to your parents, friends, acquaintances and just good people... You are going as soon as possible, the deadline at work is now not the end of the quarter, but the date of your departure, so in order to deliver everything on time, you have to plow and plow. On new job the husband is lured by all sorts of "tasty things" - comfortable housing, good salary, quarterly and annual bonuses, corporate outings to the most pretentious places in the city, free language courses, and so on. You can continue indefinitely. You are drooling and you are moving to another city in the hope of a brighter future ... Yes, you live in a luxurious house, but in the suburbs, and it’s hard for you without personal transport. And, by the way, the move fell on the winter, and this is frost, snowstorms, icy wind in the face, tears and endless doubts. The period of adaptation to everything new is going on for a very long time - to the city as a whole, and to people in particular. With the advent of auto life becomes much easier, you even buy housing almost in the city center. It would seem - what else is needed for happiness - a family, an apartment, good job... But now everything in your husband starts to annoy you - and everywhere scattered wires, and endless talks about games and all kinds of devices, and your husband's time at the computer for too long. And by the way, if you think that your husband, a programmer, will help you in every possible way to solve some problem connected in one way or another with a computer, whether it is registering on a foreign site, or buying a beautiful dress on one of the foreign sites, you are wrong ... He'll just say, "Do it yourself." And this is not because he does not love you, but because you become a little smarter and more advanced. A rethinking came to me in time. I realized in time that all this needs to be reconciled, and in the end, my husband is the best. He helped me put on my boots when my stomach did not even let me bend down, he gives me gorgeous gifts, he fulfills almost all my whims (and sometimes I even feel ashamed of my desires), he went to the other end of the city to buy tiles for the kitchen, while at work there were rubble. He does everything for us so that we live in comfort, he will make the impossible possible. He says that all this is just for me - all this moving, work ... But now, looking at our little bundle of happiness, I can say that everything was not in vain, damn it!

Yes, programmers, of course, are people with their own troubles and cockroaches, they may not be understood, they may not understand you. They are sometimes tedious and specific and boring. But it's incredibly interesting to communicate with them, they know a lot of interesting and informative things. They are capable of crazy things. They are smarter than bankers and have a better understanding of economics than any economist. They know how to work and make money and know how to do it better than any financier. They know English better than a specialist in a language university. If the programmer really falls in love (otherwise it cannot be, why waste your time on empty relationships?), Do not skimp on warmth and understanding, be mutual - you will receive a return in the form of beautiful courtship and sincere feelings. Be simple to communicate and do not play - they recognize falsity immediately. Get ready for long stories about what C ++ and C # are. Be light-hearted and adventurous - your life will never be the same again. However, the consequences of all these adventures will certainly delight you!

There is something untruthful in the success of Alex Exler's once sensational essay "Notes of a Programmer's Bride". First of all, because the male author acted in the role of the bride. To what extent Exler turned out to be close to reality, describing the life of the chosen one of the same programmer, is a big question. We decided to understand this topic by launching a new project "The Programmer's Wife", where we will publish stories of real IT wives, brides and girlfriends.

The first heroine, Inessa: "I wanted him to be a programmer"

Inessa became the first heroine who told about how she lives with a programmer. Her husband Dmitry works in Germany as an independent IT consultant. Together they have been for more than 10 years, during this time they got to know each other well, daughters Sophie (7 years old) and Marie (5 years old) appeared in their family. Inessa is a lawyer and artist. He believes that both of these professions can be called creative, since each of them requires a special, non-trivial approach. However, as in family life.

I wanted him to be a programmer

Sometimes people pass by those who really suit them. And so that this does not happen in my life, I identified 5 main features that should have been in a future husband, and with the rest, I decided, you can get along. I wanted him to be fluent in foreign languages, to have this relationship with blank slate and it’s trite that he had a car right now, because I’m tired of driving to my dorm in the rain. I wanted him to be big man, in whose arms it would be nice to fall asleep. The most interesting thing is that I wanted him to be a programmer. At that time, it seemed to me just perfect: a husband sitting at home, working at a computer. I can go somewhere, leave the children or the dog.

When I met Dima, I realized that he hit on all five counts. Our acquaintance was mystical. I went to study in Germany, and he had already lived there for a couple of years. Once I was invited to a party, I didn't really want to go, be in noisy company... The only thing that attracted me was billiards (in Belarus I spent more than a year playing billiards with a private coach, never understanding why, because none of my friends played or went to clubs with me). I decided that once I studied for a year, I would go and try something. And at the party, the only person who played billiards and did not drink vodka was my future husband. We lost four hours in a row. So 10 years ago, two Minskers met in a completely different country.

We kissed in the parking lot« McDonald's»

He looked after me very nicely, tried very hard, was gallant: he took me home, met me from work, took me to restaurants. The first time we kissed was in the McDonald's parking lot (laughs - author's note). And two weeks later, he collected my things and transported them to his place. After three months of living together, when I asked if we would go somewhere in the summer, he said: “I have not been home for a long time, and since we are going to Belarus, then we will immediately get married, and then on our honeymoon trip”. And all this he spoke at the computer, sitting with his back to me. I laughed and said I didn’t agree: I don’t see flowers here, and he didn’t kneel. But in principle, Dima knew that I agreed, he gave flowers a month later, a huge armful of tulips, and said: "I suggest you become my wife." But that was after our parents submitted an application for us to the registry office. And in May for my birthday, he took me to Paris. It was all very romantic.

I cannot speak for all the programmers, but my husband had a certain request for his future wife. It was very important for him that I have a higher education. He was also impressed by the fact that I was getting a second higher education in Germany. If it were different, it is not a fact that something would have worked out.

He looks at her for a long time and carefully from all sides.

When Dima talks about programming, he starts pouring in terms. If at first you play the role of an attentive wife who just listens to her husband, nods, smiles and does not understand anything, then after 10 years you already understand what is being discussed, what problems he is talking about. You understand about 80 percent of the words, and you can guess the remaining 20 percent.

Dima is very passionate about his work, and if you listen to him carefully, it will be very interesting. He is currently working as a project manager in terms of architecture. He is given a system, he looks at it for a long time and attentively from all sides, and then says: "We will demolish this piece, we will leave this one, and we will stick a new one here." Or this system is so reinforced concrete that it cannot be changed. Then he builds a new, mobile one that can be updated without large financial and human resources. He did this with a large European firm. Next to the old system, he built a new one for them, and then for two days a huge number of programmers transferred all the data. How they endured it, I have no idea.

Household chores do not fit into the programmers' program at all

I had a feeling that programmers are people who are jack of all trades. If he understands programming, then he can do everything in the house. Over time, I discovered that many are called programmers, but in fact there are absolutely different people... There are those who are engaged in "hardware", there are those who are engaged in programs. And those who are engaged in "hardware" do not want to deal with programs and vice versa. And household chores do not fit into the programmers' program at all.

Dima is one person at work, another in life. I was always amazed how he always completes his projects on time, but this feature has absolutely nothing to do with household chores. It seems to me that different parts of the brain are turned on.

Now I know that programmers are not the people who sit at home. Rather, you will stay at home with your children, and the programmers will be busy with their work, which, by the way, is sometimes associated with long business trips.

It seemed to me that programmers are uncommunicative people in general, that they are busy with their own interests, programs, it turned out - nothing of the kind. Dima is very fond of getting out into people, this is what we are similar to. We love companies, communication, travel. If you tell him: go to a party, he will always gather. In addition, he is very active on the Internet. It was a big surprise for me to find dozens of girls and active correspondence among his acquaintances. It seemed to me that he was more interested in some logical processes than social communication.

It is easy for him to spend money on me and children

If we buy a TV, it is “because it has special programs, processors and chips”. The same goes for any other technique: everything must be the latest model. And in principle, everything that is bought into the house, Dima approves only if there is a display and buttons. Even if it's a toothbrush.

He loves to give me gifts. They are often technical. For 30 years, he gave me a BMW X5, and financially we could not really afford it. It is easy for him to spend money on me and children.

Someone goes to a bar to drink beer, someone goes to football, my husband went to the computer

Before we got married, we played TheSims. We were looking forward to the weekend, on Friday evening we laid ourselves with food, drinks and started, and most often ended on Sunday morning, when we were already just falling. We could play for two days without stopping. Then I realized that I could live with him, that we could come to an agreement. We played the same game, assigned roles, helped each other, took turns making a career. When children are born, everything becomes real, and you no longer have to play.

Our relationship is primarily built on respect and on the fact that we have learned to speak. Not the first time we managed to find a dialogue, but in the end we realized that we could talk normally even in the most crisis situation... Although it was not so basic. It was much easier to go to the computer, shut down and sit there and do something. Such a way of leaving: someone goes to a bar to drink beer, someone goes to football, my husband went to the computer. But I'm not sure if this is connected with the profession, rather, with the upbringing in the family. In general, observing married couples around - mine and my husband's the same age, I understand that we were not taught this in childhood.

He checks those projects that lead him former bosses

Dima is a very good dad. I didn't expect this from a programmer either. I thought that the people of this profession cannot treat children so attentively and with such love. Moreover, with the advent of children, he had to completely rebuild himself. If before he worked as he wanted, now he understands that after five in the evening I will flood him with calls, I will whimper, say how we are waiting for dad for dinner.

The birth of a child in an unusual way became an incentive for his career growth. He was very passionate about working at the old firm, but there he was not promoted, and there were no financial prospects either. As he began to visit more at home, we began to discuss this more often. I got into all this better and began to say that come on, you need to move on, if it doesn't work out with this company, it will definitely work out for another one, because five years have already passed. And as a result of our communication, Dima left this job. The most interesting thing is that he returned to this company after 4 years as a very highly qualified specialist as an expert. This company had to pay him significantly more money. He is now just checking the projects that his former bosses are leading. He knows the system with which he is working now well from the inside. Therefore, when programmers come to him and say that something cannot be done, he sits down and shows how it works in fifteen minutes.

Before the birth of his children, he was a lone programmer and believed that at work he could only be positioned in this way. But when he got promoted, he found people with families in higher positions. He realized that it is normal when a person asks for time off. family matters that this is not a crisis and no one dismisses you for it. And your boss already has three children, and sometimes something can happen to them. Over the years, he saw who the loners were turning into. He had examples of people who live only by work, in an eerie rhythm, and also always use something.

It is still difficult for children to understand what dad is doing. They don't understand that he is an IT architect yet. They know that dad works at the computer. They cannot see the result of his work, so his profession will remain a mystery for them for a couple of years.

They have a different outlook on life

Think carefully before marrying a programmer. Do you really want it? If so, then this is a good choice. I believe that this is the profession of the future. If you are thinking about a serious relationship, about a family, about being supported by your husband, then I would recommend programmers. These are people who think for the future, admit any novelties, up to the point that we will live for 150 years. They see how everything in programming is developing rapidly. They have a different outlook on life, very progressive and optimistic. And they believe that they will come up with something and it will get better. And remember that you need to marry not for a profession, but for love.

Text: Alina Savovich

That's why it's time to marry a programmer!

This article is mainly for non-IT girls, so I have simplified all the abbreviations and definitions as much as possible. It’s already difficult for you.

I love IT people. Like a class. And even faintly imagine that I can not marry an IT specialist. Although anything can happen. In my life, I almost got married to a stock trader, a seafarer and a bandit, but in this text I will call IT specialists IT specialists, because it takes a long time to write: a programmer, DevOps, QA, system administrator, RM, etc. etc. Although below I will still make a breakdown by position, as the HRs would say.

This article is general, so I ask you not to take offense at me if you disagree. There are more than 75,000 programmers in the country, you cannot describe each of them, or it will be a list of Luxoft vacancies in the table.

Society divides people into two categories: IT people and normal people.

When I started working as a recruiter in IT, most of my acquaintances twisted their fingers to their temples and asked: “How do you work with them? They're kinky weird. " I never had this feeling. As far back as I can remember, while still working in other areas, I have always been friends with admins. Fascinating in their offices was the feeling that something incomprehensible was happening to the peaceful hum of the server. I was attracted by their mystery, and theirs by my interest and admiration.

I have always been attracted to IT specialists, and how the code excites me. I'm just not myself when I'm in open space, where there is code on 30 monitors at the same time. Just some kind of holiday. I don't need porn films - it's enough to show the source.

Having worked for 7 years in IT, I already cannot imagine another area where I will be so happy from communicating with people.

Why?

1. IT people are smart... I have never met such smart people in any other industry.
2. They are versatile... Most of them have a wide range of interests and always have something to talk about on different topics.
3. They have great sense of humor - you rarely see "Petrosyan" here.
4. They watch themselves. It's a lie that IT people are unwashed and in stretched sweaters. For 7 years of working with them, I saw maybe a couple of them and they were not frontend.
5. Go in for sports and adore bicycles, and also take pictures with good technology.
6. They keep abreast of new trends... Firstly, the profession obliges, and secondly, they are inquisitive by nature, otherwise why start learning all these incomprehensible letters and spaces?
7. They are systemic... When you marry an IT guy, even if you are a spontaneous girl like me, wonder how they can organize chaos a la Hurricane Victoria.
8. They are good fathers. That's just lovely what fathers are - they play educational games with children and love to babysit them.

Personal experience

I know hundreds of IT people, but my experience is mostly platonic - a shoemaker without boots. I had 3 IT specialists: Java programmer, PM and QA. I'll tell you about the latter.

If QA has sex with you, then you are good in bed, you have no bugs, and if there is, then this is not a bug, this is a feature. But in the afternoon, my God, in the afternoon I would have killed him. We go, for example, to the store. I choose something, and he criticizes everything along the way: “Don't take this, it's expensive. Why do you need it at all? " or in a restaurant: “Well, the prices. No, well, you, honey, take what you want, I just go nuts from the prices. " At the same time, the person is wonderful, not greedy, just QA.

At QA, the consistency comes to the point that spontaneity looks like this: "Honey, let's have sex on Thursday at nine in the evening." Of course, it's cool to know that on Thursday at nine in the evening I will definitely have sex, but somehow I also want surprises. But it was not there. One morning we were lying around for a long time, chatting and suddenly realized that we had to get ready, otherwise we would be late for the meetings. We got together faster - there were 15 minutes left before the taxi arrived. “Let's go fast,” I suggested, since the desire for sex arises spontaneously, and not on schedule. “No,” he said. "The taxi is already on its way, I can't do that."

And the great thing is that testers plan everything. I love morning sex, this kind of lazy sex, when both of you are not yet fully awake, but are already on fire. And he planned this in the evening, which means sex, set the alarm clock so as not to be late, blew himself up, ran to the shower, brushed his teeth. He came running, plopped down on the bed and let’s marry me, but I don’t like it so sharply in the morning, I’m still sleepy. They laughed. He has a great sense of humor, otherwise there would be no sex.

It is impossible to build statistics on the experience of meetings alone, but I noticed a similar thing in the relationships of young ladies I know and watching QA in a natural environment. In general, if you want stability and confidence in the future, as well as products in accordance with GOST - QA and Belarus is your option.

Classification

Below I will describe my feelings from IT specialists of different denominations. Of course, these are all generalizations, but perhaps they will be useful to you.

• Sysadmins- are not always harsh. They have a great sense of humor, are smart, but in the house you probably have a shit out of a bunch of components.
• DevOps- advanced admins. They not only assemble computers, but also write code. They are smart, talkative and make great money. As, in fact, all IT specialists. But devops and programmers have the highest salaries.
• RM (project manager)- the main tool is language. They speak beautifully, delegate a lot. Good experts are not common.
• QA- systemic, they are extremely boring. Suitable if you love predictable relationships and know exactly who you see yourself in 5 years from now.
• Java developer - have been in demand on an ongoing basis for 7 years. Self-assessment is appropriate.
• Javascript developer - metro-lumbersexuals of the IT market. They are good-looking, it is understandable, the front-end product is face. They take care of themselves, love to play with, at the first meeting they are usually more friendly than backers.
• Full stack(front-end and back-end) are doubly confident guys, because knowledge of the front-end and back-end does not dispose to modesty.
• Web designer- usually, well, they are very good-looking, stylish, smart, with an excellent sense of taste.
• C ++- the most taciturn and difficult to climb. C ++ is such a language that it doesn't dispose to blah blah. The most reliable husbands. For what to the left when you are so fucked up with the code.
• C #, PHP- did not notice the peculiarities, normal guys like that.
• Ruby- outwardly good as frontends, versatile and generally bubbly.
• Python- handsome men. I just love it. And Python + JS - I'm yours forever.
• Erlang, Lisp- very smart guys... Good family men, versatile and kind.
• Perl, Delphi- conservative, since the languages ​​are quite outdated and are used only to support very long-standing systems.
• Assembler- if you love grandfathers hotter.

What IT people think about themselves

Programmers are the coolest. The rest were not stupid and did not stand nearby. For a programmer on duty solves any problem. From hammering in nails to programming ISS modules. And from pleasing in bed to showdowns with bandits. For the brain is in his head, and not in the ass, like some.

IT specialists in revenge will write their book "How not to fall victim to a woman recruiter." Summary: Sex after the offer - is it real? Should I call her if she is silent after the interview. How to pretend to be a frontend if you are a javist. Calvin Klein briefs - do they affect the offer? Clonidine in beer: myths and reality of recruiting.

Opinions of IT specialists' wives and girls

Nice to live with smart person... In addition, it stimulates herself to constantly improve herself, to learn new things. And this is very important with a person of any profession - to develop in a relationship. IT specialists are very versatile people, so you definitely won't get bored.

My wonderful ex-husband 14 computers had two pairs of pants, and he also had a lot of cool friends and a habit of collecting cords with exotic connectors. After a year of living together, I slowly began to code myself - it was a great time.

I was afraid of computer technology at the university. And when she "accidentally" married an IT specialist, I realized that they were the sweetest and kindest people in fact! Here are the children of IT specialists ... The older one at the age of 10 solders something all the time, and the youngest one at the age of 7 reinstalls Windows for money. And the dirt from them! Cleanly, only when I kick it out of the house, I will clean it and don’t start it!

There are many advantages: he is always busy at home with work (sprints, fixing bugs, etc.), so I can meet with my friends until late. He is very well-read and educated, with a broad outlook, restrained and tries to smooth out conflicts, kind to both people and animals.

My IT specialist is like a cat - to feed, stroke and not take away the mouse on time.

Judging from my experience of living with a programmer, first of all, it’s not boring (and it’s always interesting, and you’ll never get bored, because there are a lot of ideas in these heads). Secondly, they are, as a rule, very intelligent fathers (well, among those I know, common sense and the skill of building a logical system prevailed over everything else) and the children turn out to be very decent, with a sense of humor and pronounced characters. Thirdly, wherever you physically live with a programmer, you still live in a globalized big world, and not in your own muhosransk (yes, people of other professions do it, but with IT specialists it is as natural as breathing) ... Of course, you have to be prepared for the fact that when asked "how are you?"

At the expense of cleanliness in the house - he always took up the mop if I was tired with the children, and his wires and tools are always in perfect order. There are a lot of computers per square meter, but it doesn't bother me. Constantly learning, which stimulates me too. You rarely see him in the kitchen, but here we harmoniously divided the responsibilities. A lot is involved with children (lego, chess, electricity, physical and chemical experiments, the list is very long). But he does not like to travel. Terrible couch potato. Introvert (which is common among these brethren). In all the shortcomings, you can find positive points. Hates quarrels. He taught me how to resolve conflicts without quarrels.

Thank you God and Roma Khmil that I got to these wonderful people.